Stand Still!

Stand Still!!!

“… Stand still… Left Hand Division! Stand Still… Right Hand Division…” 

I know that reads* weird… That is one of the many military parade commands… This command has been ringing in my mind for the past one day – because it’s awesome like that! I am at a point in life where I have stopped referring to these occurrences – that is thoughts, ideas, dreams and the like as concurrence. I have been wondering for a while now, when God will get to use me. I mean, I am getting a little impatient here I think, I got born again, but still it does not feel enough… That moment when I am like,

“Okay you took me to the military what next?”

“You got me, a taste of that flying career… Then what?” 

“You took me to a discipleship and sender’s class then…?”  

“You are mentoring me for ministry, then what?”

I have always wanted my things to be solved fast enough, and my solutions delivered ASAP in life and related. This time I am in such a hurry that I want to even detail God myself… SMH. So yesterday while reading on salvation, these two  words came to me for the first time. Among the definitions of salvation is ‘deliverance from danger.’ That is as from Exodus 14. At this point, the Israelites are on Moses’ case and they are like “It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” (Ex 14:12) I mean what else can you think of, if behind you is the entire army of Pharaoh and in front of you is a mass of water which you can’t even swim across to save yourself? You can imagine the mayhem and confusion, adrenaline spikes actually thinking about a pursuit at Baraawe – Somalia, Al-Shabaab hot in pursuit; that moment when you are the sandwich between the Indian Ocean & the Enemy. Of course, the Navy would come through and save the exit…

Here, ‘General’ Moses said “Stand Still!” (Apana tingizika!!!) why? He needed these people to stop all the confusion and concentrate on what God was planning to do, or even control an impending stampede. (If I was there with what I know now: I would be swimming away already & I know many would follow me.) These were his words from the AMPC “Fear not; Stand Still and see the salvation of the Lord Which He will work for you today.” Standing still means; being firm & being confident! That is why after a few seconds the parade commander used to say “Apana Tingizika!” – To mean ‘Do not Shake.’ We all know what happened after this. Division of the sea & the crossing. Again I can imagine during the crossing Moses’ left hand was stretched to the left and saying “Tulia namna hiyo!” and the right hand in succession saying the same thing. At this point of my day, Salvation was all I was concentrating on and I moved on with my day. It’s what I needed to feed on at the time.

While going to work the Word still brings me to being still again… The time that Jesus calmed the storm. Mark 4: 35 – 41. It is like the wind and the waves were on a mission to finish them. The disciples were afraid that they would die out there in the deep sea. However, Jesus just woke from His sleep and calmed the storm. How? He rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be Still!” The disciples were actually in shock… “Be still!”

So my day progresses. Then night comes. While at fellowship with a friend (Over the phone), the call disconnected at some point. I then realized that my Bible App had loaded the verse of the day – it was already past midnight. And guess which verse this was? Psalms 46:10.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah” (to 11)

I just started mentioning it *switching from handset to headsets to get a clearer read as we discussed it* and my partner on the other end of the line completed the last two verses for me… I was like, “Wait!” are we sharing a Bible App?”

“No… But that’s my verse…!” 

This was the third time “Be still” had come to me in 24 hours. By now this was a few minutes to 1am…

We can look at this in very many ways. But I will share of two in which God had commanded me to Stand Still (I cannot help but hear the sound of WO1 Opembi roaring from the deepest part of his stomach to almost 3000 recruits on the parade ground.) I used to love that command because it’s after that command that the real marching games began! Aiiii!!!! I am almost standing in this bus!

Okay focus… One of the ways in which God told me to stand still is in my operations. Like my life, eat, drink, talk, – everyday life. At some point nobody would tell what I do. Even now. Nobody quite knows, very few maybe – those who remained. So God spoke to me and told me I don’t have to struggle in all sectors trying to find that which “I” considered the achievement of “my” dreams. So career-wise, he said Captain! Stand still, and stick to what I gave you. I know now you are wondering, ‘kwani flying was not his God given calling?’ Relax… I will be coming to that in consequent posts. So God would only work on me when I focused on one path. And I chose that path. I mean letting go of that confusion, that was too much it almost didn’t count as confusion. The moment I let go of my octopus trends in life, career, occupation and/ or business, He showed me a place and started working on me.

Social life. I don’t have any softer words on this, but whenever all one could think about is Maryanne in the morning, Sharon in the afternoon, Phoebe over lunch, and Rachelle in the evening… one cannot move at all. I mean in whatever context, fine or coarse. Praying for a wife when you are not listening to God’s voice of “Standing still”, is useless… – That is just one of the most essential ways to look at this because I mean – experience. But you can go on and act like you know and answer yourself & when the boat starts rocking, you will know, you answered yourself. And I can assure you it’s a process of molding and fine tuning to ensure that when you stand still! There is no shaking… That your legs will be firm enough to stand, march and stamp your feet throughout the parade that God is preparing. ‘Hakuna kutingizika!”. And that is how I found the stability and sanity to focus on what mattered, who mattered, when it mattered and what God was saying to me in this and related aspects. This also went across the board. I mean, even guys, not all could get on board. Some just had to be left while others were leaving.

Then here comes the most important bit. Ministry and serving God. I am like “Where to now God?” I am born again and I have been communing with Him, growing step by step and moving forward as the days go by. But I cannot help but look around and feel like my plane isn’t gaining attitude as fast as I would want it to be… It’s a small plane maybe but similar planes look like they have been boosted. So I am wondering, where & when does God intend to use me hmm? At what point will he start working through me… And this may sound a little bit naive but when will my prayer and conversations with Him get deeper? You know… So I am digging for sermons, perusing the Bible left right & center seeking answers and consulting with my spiritual mentor. Then answer Part A came through a podcast around 3 days prior to the publishing of this article. Then I was contented – a little because I even got more curious. Then part B came through over the period of the 24 hours I spoke about. Being still and waiting on Him to give me all that I have been praying for. God is still working on me and I have to be patient until when my processing is done. Until I am ready to be used by Him. The first step in this is giving myself to Him which is checked out as done! I already made up my mind on that when I gave my life to Him.

Now, I am right here… Standing still, chin up and eyes front. Waiting for Him to give the next command. & trust me this parade is going to be lit!!!