STEPping into Salvation VI: New Life Struggles.

I believe you have been well in the Lord! I shared in the previous article of what STEP is all about and if you are passionate about missions, why it would be a good idea to check it out. It has been quite a while and this journey has been progressing well. I should be speaking about the sparks that developed from my salvation. Immediately I gave my life to Christ, I stayed silent about it for a while. From close friends to family. I think I only told my sister Cindy which I did not quite share directly. Like I didn’t tell her, “Hey, I got born again!” The reason is; I feared the backlash that would arise. In addition, I was not confident. Remember, during the entire course of the study, I used to get asked whether “those people” wanted me to change churches… My response was always no. It was an inter-denominational arrangement. That’s how that ended.

I gave my life to Christ on a Saturday and the next day, I attended mass as usual. Early morning so that I would return home and chill. At this time, I was really asking myself how I would get back to ministry at the same level I was at my home church in Kerugoya – I was a Sunday school teacher. Well, an inconsistent one. I wanted to be a better one at it. especially that now, I was born again. But every time, I planned to apply as a Sunday school teacher at the church in Umoja, I hesitated and told myself “Next Time… Next time…” At STEP school, we had been given audio sermons to go along with the manual we were using in classes. These sermons and seminars were the real deal!

I rededicated my time to listening to these sermons. They were my first meal of Spiritual audio sermons. Listening is part of how I learn. Podcasts, audio books and the like are my kind of thing. The Growing Up series by Keith Moore was among the 10 audio/ visual libraries we got. I loved them! I binge listened to these everywhere. The others included The God Course, Discipling Nations, Intentional Discipleship, etc, just to mention but a few. Disclaimer Alert! My ways should not be the standard – We should all look to Jesus and the leadership of the Holy Spirit, for we are all prepared differently for the different assignments that are granted to us. Don’t go around saying, “Chris said listening to a particular minister is how to grow spiritually.” I listened to these everywhere. When working out, on the road, and even while gaming. I used to play Euro Truck a lot back in the day, and these seminars and sermons, were playing everywhere. I had configured them to play on my trucks and I would be on my gaming seat for hours on end listening to these sermons. At the time I was also in flying school and sometimes I would choose to walk a fair part of the distance to cut costs and I know you already guessed my motivation! You’re right! Audio sermons!

At this time also, I am trying to pick up conversations with friends regarding Christ. I am already trying to disciple to the nations and trying to tell people about Christ as well. I am trying to transfer the knowledge I am gathering about God to others, but it was not just coming out right and I could not figure out why. As I grew in faith, I got better at it. What I did not know at the time was that, I could not really package the gospel as a business proposal. Which I think was my first attempt and idea of how I was going to do it. It was also not a thing to be taught. I mean, an encounter with Christ is not something you could teach someone into having. To make matters worse my background was one that shunned quite a favorable number of principles of what I currently believed in. Worst of these; it’s a time in our generation when heretics, false doctrines and theatrics have taken over some of the pulpits and airwaves and those who do not know Christ, unfortunately have been exposed to the theatrics and this has hardened their hearts towards accepting Christ even further.

At some point, I stopped trying and I started working on my own salvation. I would later learn that this was actually the key. What was happening around me was secondary. I needed to work on myself and allow the Lord to work on me. My mindset started changing and I started changing. My prayer life changed, my bible reading life changed, the books I read changed – a bit and my company changed… Little did I know that this new relationship that I was working on with Christ was changing aspects of my life that I couldn’t see but could speak louder than my words. It started getting easier telling people about my experience with Christ and my faith that had started working on me. It had started bearing fruits.

For the rest of the year, I continued attending my former church, retuned home for my audio sermons and then attend fellowship on Monday’s at Buruburu. These are what kept me growing. Among those who I had approached to help me on my resolve to follow Christ, one had invited me to their church. I refused of course. Because according to what “I had been taught,” that was what getting lost entailed. – It starts from changing of churches. That is why I was reluctant to move. Over time, the idea started warming up and I started planning to visit that church. It then turned out to be too far. I intended to get a church nearby. But with the fear of ending up in a church with a wrong doctrine, I chose to stay at home. Being my “Milk Days”, I didn’t know that I could ask God to help me find a church. One, for growth, and two, For Him to use me. I should have just asked. Though he did direct me about a year later.

Another thing was happening; at the time, I was hosting a friend I met in the military. In my view, he had his spiritual journey figured out. I was still wondering what next after salvation. He used to go to church on Sunday, but would not tell me where exactly. At this point, we had not started the church conversation. All I felt was, it had to be a very nice one because he left the house with a bible and a notebook. I found this very fancy at the time. He would then introduce me to a few other televangelists who would be part of my knowledge base. Now, besides my school study material, I had other televangelists who I would be listening to and watching online. Now I would come home from mass, sit behind my laptop and consume sermons by Bishop T.D Jakes, Ron Carpenter, Chris Hill et al. I remember that season I did listen to Chris Hill’s sermons a lot.

Meanwhile, days and nights would turn into months and a year. I still attended flying school; I was now getting ideas of being a missionary pilot. The idea of serving the Lord as a missionary pilot was starting to really wow me. I continued attending our Monday Fellowships, and televangelists became my spiritual teachers.