Air Force Pilot for who?

I can guess how this will sound like…

Word on the street is I am wanted for crimes against the government. Entertaining right? Like seriously! You noticed that since this became “Kriscalf Exposed”, I have taken a backseat on blogging. Truth be told. Some of those mice minded people with influence on some fronts took “Exposed” literally and thought I had stuff to expose about some factions in some Kenyan Systems. Its “Kriscalf Exposed” People, and not “Kenya Exposed”, or “Military Exposed”. Are we clear on that?

Now, Kriscalf the Air Force Pilot. Said who? I laugh every time. Word on the street is that I am a reputed Air Force pilot with Legend-like stories to match. But did I tell them? No, I did not. Now here is how I try to explain the situation and how that came to being. No. First let me try to reason out with myself because I don’t know where to place a finger on this. Everyone knows how pilots have a busy schedule, but this particular Air Force Pilot in allegation is always in traffic on either Outering Road, Jogoo Road, Mombasa Road or somewhere on Ngong Road in weird hours of the afternoon (in a matatu). When does he fly? Okay. This Fighter Jet Pilot in allegation also is also a legendary or almost seller of ladies accessories in the kind of handbags, scents, shoes, lingerie, mitumba tops among other things in various offices in the city. How now? This Fighter Jet Pilot-in-allegation is also known to spend most of his Saturdays in either Kitengela, Kangundo road or Juja Farm Selling plots while trying to convince prospective buyers into closing a real estate deal. When does he fly? Nobody ever stopped to ask why he never posted selfies or related while in flight decks or blah blah blah. Okay. That last one did not make much sense. But this Jet fighter pilot is always online posting this or that…

I deny in public & in writing that I am an Air Force pilot. I am not. So at this point the CIA can stop reading and get back to their family. I know you are wondering what I am doing with a Flying suit on me… Well, people also go to NASA and take photos with space suits. Right? I will explain the flying suit part and my seasoned profile picture. Sometimes back, I used to write aviation articles for several magazines. Both online and print. Like vehicle test drivers, you cannot write about something you have not experienced/ ride in. During that kanasty scandal about tush* F5s, I wrote an article about the Kenya Air Force Multi-Role Fighter Jet – praising them of course; but my favorite fighter remains the Eurofighter Typhoon. I had to get inside one, do a ride and then come back write an article about it. So it was after flying circuits above Merti Plains that I took that photo and cropped the head part to be my most common profile picture. Too bad I never even got a wife out of it. Sooo sad. The article is a specs article, not the experience itself; I will post it here someday. So here is the lesson. Not any man carrying a jembe around is a farmer. and two, wait.

I am just an innocent #Avgeek who happens to know very many people in the aviation industry and I just cannot stop reading, writing and watching or engaging with aviation related people and stuff. Both in military and in civil aviation. With this, I have a ton of stories. I am also an aspiring Commercial pilot – Highest level for that matter. Which is a story for the rest of this blogs life. Do I write gossip? Sometimes. Do I do exposes? I do not know. Unconsciously, maybe. Try the twisted Pig story for example.

So, they also heard I was a pilot in the Air Force but now I am in Civil, how? It is a confused circle. I have to ask people “last you checked, what I was doing?” Here is the twist. Recently… a year there about, I decided it was time my village knew I had become a qualified pilot *rubs imaginary Epaulets*. On my return to the underground caves, where we park the fighter jets somewhere in Mount Kenya Forest after a stunt show in Nairobi, I decided to pass by my village in Kimuri. Separating from formation (Including the formation commander & lead), I detoured, flew two low passes, dodging trees and Ushirika bank over Kerugoya and proceeded to land three minutes later in Mount Kenya Forest. I do not know how to this day that building never shed its windows. The following day I was fired and cleared in an hour.

Back to that bit of the Air Force fighter pilot-in-allegation. You all know soldiers have to be clean shaven, no beards and constant distance from family. How do I afford to post selfies with family each and every weekend with hair over 1 inch long and beards all over the face? Questions people never stop to ask.

I tie this to my recent post on social media about how media, both mainstream and social is manipulative of gullible minds. Wait until you hear how twisted this story will be in a few hours.