I really wanted to get taller, to achieve my dream, flying that is. Especially if it was in to be in the Air Force. . .
I am not documenting it to tell you how you can grow tall. I don’t want you to believe it either. Neither do I want you to go try it out. First it’s important to mention that I was not wired for biology, or maybe I was, just that I had a bad foundation in terms of teachers and attitude towards the particular subject. So I dropped it in my second term of my first year in high school. Mentally at least. . . I attended classes yeah and sat for the exams but it wasn’t in my mind at all. I believe and have always believed am technically wired. Don’t ask how. I know. I loved the rest of it though. I only hated the direct academic part of it. I love the direct application of biology. That is on a layman’s point of view or experience for that matter. That is people like me. Stuff like nutrition, the how to of the body parts and their functioning. Pure interest. Just pure interest.
It was among those periods of night preps after I had finished writing a love letter to my high school love, that I started perusing some bio book. Those colored ones like “Human Biology”. I was viewing the pictures as usual, the reproductive system never ceased to amaze me . . . actually it was coz my timetable was reflecting biology. I landed on some rather funny picture about the shortest and tallest man on earth at some point. I was a short guy so this took up my attention. And I ended reading a bit about the anterior pituitary, thyroid glands and all. That really attracted me. For the record I was the shortest student in the school of slightly over 800 students, and according to a rumor that did rounds in the aviation based school, my height was a broken dream for an aspiring pilot, again the Air force would never shortlist a dwarf my size. What do you expect? Curiosity got the better part of me. The titles totally insulted me at first okay. As I felt that is. . .
The article was about dwarfism and gigantism. I read on and I learnt the functions of the pituitary, the thyroid, and especially the functions of the Thyroxine Hormone produced by the Thyroxine glands in the neck area which is helped about by iodine in the body whose source is salt among others. I was also proud to learn several types of goiter. . . Which engineer, really?
Then the obsession began. Salt intake like an industry. I started taking up salt like a mad guy. In all forms for that matter; Licking, pushing a spoonful at the back of my mouth and drinking a glass of water, chewing newsprint soaked in salt, in drinking water and the craziest of all, in capsules. I used to fake stomach ache to get some real big capsules especially when the school nurse categorized it as an extreme case of Amoeba. But she was tough for she always made you swallow the first capsule there. Again that level of ache according to her deserved an introductory injection that always led me to seeing teachers writing in bold during the lessons that followed. Call it sacrifice. I then emptied the capsules of their content then replaced them with my “Salt Special”. I went ahead to prescribe them to myself a lethal dose of 3×3. It saved me the agony of the weird taste in my mouth but hell the stomach pain after all the capsules had ruptured in the stomach was unbelievable!!! It usually lasted for about 30 minutes and couldn’t even get neutralized enough by water. I had to get tall I told myself.
I proceeded with that remedy for like a year until I couldn’t take the short term side effects anymore. These included instant stomach pains that lasted for about 30 minutes after ingestion and depending on the amount, an irritating itch while peeing. Not forgetting the humiliation and constant booing of the ever lively pessimists. My desk mate used to think I had run mad. I dropped it altogether.
Then some side effects I hadn’t quite considered started creeping in. I was aware of their existence from my miniature research, but I ignored them citing them as minimal in comparison to what I stood to gain from the program. Painful knees, back pains, crumbling teeth. I was diagnosed with Lumbargo by a specialist in Meru. I totally paid. Regular IM injections to the ass weren’t all that fun and not forgetting I spent like 80% of my classes shifting positions, standing and sitting. I believe I am the only student who legally had a pillow in class ever, for “support”. It was fun to the rest of them but I was in hell alone. I understand they used to take turns to lie on it when I was absent (the injections). The best part is nobody knew why, only I apparently everybody was so engrossed in preparing 8-4-4 style (I’m not so intelligent but this system needs an upgrade for real) that nobody ever noticed that excess Iodine and Calcium in the body don’t really rhyme.
Anyway I passed that phase, luckily but with a story load for those who cared. I was back on track. Then the “Progressive” achievement of my dream started occurring to me. Overgrowing my trousers, shorts and shoes . . . by the end of the final year I was of average height and yes they shut up. But they couldn’t help express the surprise, others seeking the remedy. Oddly enough I was way beyond biology coz I was majoring in a technical field by then.
As I said, this is not scientifically proven or authorized; the only subject of this test was me. Do I have witnesses? Yeah, I guess so. It may depend on your body type and a lot of other factors that I did not get the enthusiasm to follow up. Sorry. All I know is that somehow it worked on me. Again as per my kalittle knowledge I understand it has an age limit. Growth that is. I’m now heading to 6’. Vision 2015 LOL.
Iodine in excess kinda absorbs calcium in the body that is the bones, thus weakening them and the joints thus the back pains and crumbling teeth. I understood a little about Thyroxine as in the next post. Watch this space.
Now am thinking of adding some weight. I am still researching, but still. . .
How I Grew Tall.